looking smaller than I imagined..

When I'm interested in someone, I place that person on a pedestal well above me. Like an idol to worship in awe. He stays there during the dating process and remains for however long I want to believe the relationship will work. But eventually, the relationship doesn't and I leave him on the pedestal and wonder what happened and why we didn't work.

Time passes and I move on to someone else. The next time I see my ex, he appears smaller than I imagined; harmless looking, uninteresting and not very attractive. It's an obvious pattern of mine. Could I have been so blind before? Maybe so.

The other night, I finally met the guy from the speed date event for dinner at Tsunami. After our meal, we dropped by the Fly for a drink. I was a little concerned that I might see the ex there (his regular watering hole). The ex did arrive along with his friend but they didn't see me.

I decided to stop by the bathroom before leaving the bar knowing full well that I would A) pass the ex twice and B) make him aware that I was there. The first pass to the bathroom, I ignored him. On my way out, I looked directly at him with a smirk on my face. Both he and his friend looked right back at me. Then I bumped into the waitress who cut in front of me which broke the staring contest. When I looked back up, he looked like he was going to smile or say hello but he didn't. He just turned his body toward me as I passed.

I had this huge grin on my face when I picked up my jacket and my date upon leaving. It's juvenile to be so smug knowing that an ex just saw me leave with another guy from a bar that we used to visit frequently. But it felt great, nevertheless.