This is when the disappointment sets in

Chris and I met yesterday at Fort Funston to discuss why he wanted a break and what that would mean and to have an opportunity to respond to his last phone conversation. Well, we talked and I said what I wanted to say as best I could even though I had a more detailed explanation in my mind. Things never come out exactly the way you would like them to.

I wanted to work things out. I wanted him to work with me to resolve the issues that I seemingly had regarding my feelings of insecurities with his female friends. I asked him to work with me on this and stick around and not bail on me because I don't feel that a break in any relationship would help the issue. I cared and I felt he was making a bad decision and a big mistake. But he felt that I should take care of my issue alone because he felt it is my problem and my problem alone.

Well, in this situation, it's not just my issue. My issue with insecurity stems from his friends. Because he doesn't care enough about our relationship to stand by me and help me work on the issues tells me that he would never be around for me when I need him the most.

That's not a relationship. It takes two people to work on an issue like this, whether it be a friendship or a partnership. For him to bail on me and tell me to take care of it myself and we'll revisit at a later date..forget it. The fact that he's not in the picture, my issue is moot. There isn't any issue anymore so how can I work on it if the problem isn't there?

So what if we moved too fast. It happens. So what if it's only been five weeks that we've known each other. I understand that dating is supposed to be fun and these issues shouldn't have come up so soon in a relationship but they have, so deal with it or get out. Well, he got out.

I am very disappointed, but I realize that things would never work out with Chris. And breaking up is for the best.

I know what I want and I want someone to be there for me when I need them; to care enough about me to help work on the issues with me; to just be there. I deserve that.